To Aru Super SS: The Movie: The Miracle of Endymion
by rubix22
Summary: Hamazura Shiage and Kinuhata Saiai watch a movie. Spoilers galore.
1. Chapter 1

[ Inside a dark theater, the glow from the silver screen dimly reflects off Hamazura's off-putting face. ]

"_Oi! Do we really have to sit so close to the screen?_"

"_C'mon! Hurry! Hurry! The movie's about to start!"_

[ Kinuhata drags the boy to the front row. ]

"_**Ouch-ouch-ouch! That's my goddamn ear! Are you planning to rip it off!**__"_

"_How about you super shut it! Even an idiot like you should understand courtesy in a movie theater!"_

[ The theater suddenly goes dark. ]

"_Ah-ah! It's starting now!"_

"_Don't ignore me damn it! Can't you see I'm hurting here! Physically and emotionally!"_

"_After you're done sobbing on the floor, pass me some super popcorn would ya?"_

"_Eurrrgh...!"_

[ Soft light and sound effects slowly start to drown the the room out. As this happens, Hamazura scampers off the ground in a panic and settles into a seat. ]

[ **The logo for W*rner Bros. Pictures spins on-screen. The start of the movie begins. **]

[ **AS*II Media Works 20th Anniversary **]

[ **Project- Index Movie** ]

[ **A Certain Magical Index: The Miracle of Endymion Super SS** ]


	2. Chapter 2

[ **In the outer reaches of Earth's atmosphere, a CG aircraft was exper-** ]

_Ugh! Really? CG? This is super annoying._

_What's wrong with CG? I think it's actually done pretty well here…_

_No, there's nothing super wrong. It's just that I cringe everytime J.C St*ff attempts to use CG. Have you seen the mechs they designed for Railgun? They look super awful._

_Yeah... they're pretty bad..._

_It just puts me on edge. I'm waiting for that ugly model or super bad angle, and it completely destroys the experience for me._

_Eh… well, maybe this is the only scene?_

…_._

[ **Starting over…** ]

[ **In the outer reaches of Earth's atmosphere, a CG aircraft was experiencing some turbulence…** ]

Copilot: Huh? Did you feel something?

Pilot: Nope.

[ **An explosion occurs on the left side of the CG aircraft…** ]

Pilot: Aw, fuck.

[ **Lights and buzzers start going off. The CG aircraft starts shaking uncontrollably.** ]

[ **And ambient music starts filling the room. **]

Ambient Music: _La la~ La la~ La la la~ La la~_

Pilot: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Copilot: We've lost the engine in our left wing! We're losing altitude!

Pilot: Hang on a second…! Let me just…!

[ **As the pilot mashes button on the touchpad to his side, the copilot tries hard to keep the CG aircraft steady. **]

Ambient Music: _La la la~ La la~ La la la~ La la~_

Pilot: There's no choice! We have to land immediately!

Copilot: What? Are you insane? It's impossible! We'll crash for sure!

Pilot: Can you think of any better options? We have to try it!

[ **The pilot looks out the front window where the Earth stares back.** ]

Ambient Music: _La la~ La la~ La la la~ La la~_

Pilot: Don't give up! There's still something we can do! We may not have the raw experience of a japanese high schooler to actually land this damn thing perfectly, but goddamn it! That shouldn't stop us from trying! There's more than our lives that's at stake here!

_Oi. There's a line that seems out of place…_

_Shh! This is a super serious moment! Don't ruin it!_

Pilot: There's more to being a pilot than getting into the air. Any fool with the right tools can take to the skies. But what makes us different from those idiots is _them_. Those people back there, _they_ are trusting us with their lives. _They_ are depending on us to return them home safely. That's right. We've got to keep that promise, and our jobs are only halfway done.

Copilot: Daedalus…

[ **The ambient music intensifies. **]

Pilot: That's why I-

Ambient Music: _La la-_

Pilot: Okay. Shut the **FUCK **up Shutaura…! And what are you even doing back there...!

Ambient Music: …

[ **The young girl standing behind the two pilots looks to the floor.** ]

Ambient Music Girl: Sorry daddy…

[ **She leaves the cockpit with her head down.** ]

_SHE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME?_

_What a super twist…!_

[ **Lights and buzzers continue to go off after the girl's departure; however the atmosphere inside the room somehow thickens further. **]

Pilot: …

Copilot: You… didn't have go off on her like that.

Pilot: Yeah? And what do _you _know?

Copilot: Well, I know that it's Bring-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day today. And that you hardly ever see your family because of the work you do. That kid's probably lonely. Probably looking forward to hanging out with her dad all year, but... you just kind of stuffed her back in commercial class.

Pilot: It's 'First Class'. And you shouldn't be butting into other people's problems.

_Oi, oi, oi. What's with this casual conversation? Isn't the plane crashing? The plane is still crashing, isn't it?_

Copilot: Go talk to her. I don't care if this has nothing to do with me. As your friend, I can't let you leave things the way they are now.

Pilot: Really? Talk to her? And say what? That '_Daddy is sorry'_? That '_Daddy is just a little stressed out_'? I've got absolutely _nothing_ to apologize for. If anything, I'd go out there to yell at her for leaving her goddamn seat. That girl knows to not bother me during work.

_Seriously...! Is this really the time to be talking about this? I mean, look outside that window! The entire plane is clearly burning to a crisp!_

Copilot: Why are you so hard on her? What'd she ever do to _you_?

Pilot: Oh, I'll tell you what she did to me. She did something unforgivable. I let her fiddle around with my PFP for a bit, and that little shit deleted my Idolm*ster save file.

[ **The pilot narrows his eyes.** ]

Pilot: And get this! Ever since then, she started mocking me with her singing, as if that was in any way a suitable replacement for Takane-chan! It pisses me just thinking about it!

_Why are you even mentioning this….?!_

Copilot: So that's the reason why you can't talk to your daughter?

[ **The copilot shakes his head and stands up.** ]

Pilot: Where do you think you're going…!

Copilot: I just can't do this. You're being extremely petty and childish. And you should really think over what you just said there.

_No! Don't go! The plane's still crashing damn it!_

Pilot: Hey! Don't you dare underestimate Idolm*ster! Auditions, live shows, and festivals…! Vocals, visuals, dance, and burst appeals…! It's a lot more intricate than you think it is…! I've had to look up the wiki countless times…! Do you know how many hours I spent making the perfect idol unit…!

[ **As the CG aircraft breaks through the clouds, Academy City is seen down below. The pilot screams as he prepares landing at high velocity.** ]

Pilot: **TAKAAANEEEE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN**!

[ **In the aftermath of the crash, a reporter stands by and assesses the situation to a camera crew.** ]

Reporter: Earlier today, the spaceplane Orion made an emergency landing in the 23rd District of Academy City. The Orion collided with debris in the stratosphere, resulting in engine failure. As you can see, the CG plating has completely melted off in the wreckage behind me, leaving the husk of a normal spaceplane.

[ **Ambulances can be seen escorting people to the hospital. **]

Reporter: Fortunately, all 88 people aboard are confirmed to have survived. No, wait- I'm being told that the pilot died at the same time his daughter gave birth mitotically to another girl. So as the life of one person's life ends, another begins. Ah... the miracle of life... Hey that's pretty catchy! Let's call this incident the Miracle 88! 88 people went up... and more or less 88 people came back down, so why don't we just call it a day folks?

_Eh? What? What the hell was that last bit…! Did she say something important…! That was a spoiler, wasn't it?_

_Geez Hamazura. It's only the opening sequence and you're already super lost? So hopeless._


	3. Chapter 3

[ **It was just another peaceful day in the small town of Nagai… when suddenly…! **]

Woman at the Street Corner: Wh-What's this…! An earthquake…!

Old Man at the Supermarket: No! It can't be…! The 200 year seal holding back the evil Demon King…! It must have been broken…!

[ **Somewhere within the depths of an underground cavern, an ancient evil awakens…!** ]

Demon King: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! FINALLY! THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO TAKE OVER THE WOOOOOOOORLD!

[ **In a world where chaos and destruction threatens the livelihoods of our children…! **]

Demon King: NOW GO FORTH MY MINIONS DESPAIR!

[ **Where evil and villainy are at arms reach of corrupting our youth…!** ]

Various Reporters on Television: The recent kidnapping of an eight-year-old have police investigating -_static- _in the Funabori District. The attacker is confirmed armed and danger _-static- _causing the bridge to collapse. Rescuers are-

[ **Just who do we call for in this dire time of need…! **]

Boy in the Park: Help us!

Girl at School: Essentially, we need help!

[ **Just who do we call for to protect the sanctity of peace and justice…!** ]

Boy in a Baseball Cap: Someone! Help!

Girl with Beetle Plush: H-... Help...

[ **All together now!** ]

Everyone: **PLEASE HELP US! GEKOTA RANGERS!**

[ **The spotlight shines down to a group of masked individuals.** ]

?: With passion as intense as the burning sun!

Red: Gekota Ranger Red, ready for action!

?: As serene as the eye inside a hurricane!

Blue: Gekota Ranger Blue here. Let's get this over with!

?: Shining brightly like the su- Hey! You stole my line, Red!

Yellow: It's showtime! Gekota Ranger Yellow! Wahoo!

?: Eh? Is that what we're doing now? Um, ah, I can't think of anything pink!

Pink: Gekota Ranger Pink! S'alright, ne? Ne?

[ **Title Card: Gekota Ranger S vs the Panda Villain** ]

…

_Hey… Hold on a second. What happened to the plane? What happened to Academy City? Where the hell are we...?_

_It's the small town of Nagai. Didn't you hear the super announcer guy say it?_

_No, no, I heard it clearly. But it still makes no goddamn sense… This scene and the last scene don't even connect remotely… I mean, is this even the Index Movie anymore…? Well, I think I might have seen some familiar faces, but still…!_

_Hamazura, Hamazura, Hamazura…. Do I really have to tell explain this out to ya?_

_Don't tell me… This is one of those 'techniques', right? Holding off on getting to the real meat of the story and using throwaway characters to expand the universe? If that's the case, the director is stretching the limits of world building way too much…! _

_Don't be a super idiot. What does a Super Sentai series have to do with To Aru no Majutsu no Index… The author's just being moody._

_...Eh?_

_When you think about it, it's been a super long time since Rubix posting anything. And when a chapter suddenly springs up, it's about old news. The Endymion Movie was released way back in February. So anyone super interested in it already knows the plot by now. Kind of disheartening. And plus, there are way more interesting things happening. You've seen what happens in NT8 and the newest chapter of Railgun, right? Enthusiasm about the movie just sort of disappears after that. _

_The curtain… Don't pull it back… _

_Ah~an! So many plans put on hold because of laziness! And now everything's already irrelevant. If people knew that the next chapter of Super SS was supposed to be a bathhouse chapter with Thor and Mikoto, I bet they'd be super pissed. But at this point, does the audience even want to go back to that time? Why even bother, am I right?_

_That is… well…_

_Damn it, I just want to go back to playing D*vil Survivor._

_Who is it that's talking right now…! Just who is it…! If you want to say something, don't make other characters say it…!_

_Hmm? That was super fast. It's already at the climax._

[ **The main antagonist of the movie, a boy wearing a panda costume, has his hands raised to the sky as he controls a giant ball of plasma. **]

Panda Villain: P_UPAPIPEPOPAPAPIPUPEPIPIPOPAPAPIPUPOPOPUPEPEPEPOPIP UPAPUPIPUPOPUPUPEPUPAPIPUPOPEPUPEPUPIPAPIPOPIPAPAP AH-!_

_Huh?_

Panda Villain: This is great! This power… It's like moving my own arms and legs! _Pa pa pa~_

[ **The Panda Villain cackles in his accomplishment.** ]

Panda Villain: This feeling of conquering all of space! It seems it's true that fighting a strong opponent is the fastest way to getting stronger, eh? Lowlife! _Pa la la la~_

_Isn't this… No, it can't be…_

[ **A short distance from the Panda Villain, Red is bleeding out on the ground.** ]

Panda Villain: As a token of my gratitude, I'll remove every last trace-

[ **Before the Panda Villain could continue any further, the ball of energy above him disperses.** ]

Panda Villain: …!

[ **Pink appears crutching Pink 10032.** ]

Pink: I… won't let you have your way!

_**WHHHHYYYYY?**__ WHY IS IT PINK 10032…! THIS IS JUST A SHAMELESS RIP OFF, ISN'T IT…!_

_Who cares if it's a rip-off, it's still a super good scene._

_Aww, geez…! We're gonna get so many complaints, damn it…! _

Panda Villain: I don't understand… _Pa pa pa~ _You and that lowlife over there, just why are the two of you willing to go so far for a bunch of dolls? _Pa la la la~_

Pink: It is because... these girls are my sisters, that's all there is. And for you, who has no real family, this might be impossible for you to understand!

Panda Villain: You just added something unnecessary.

Pink: I don't really care.

[ **From behind, Red slowly struggles up to his feet.** ]

Panda Villain: …!

Pink: R-Red!

[ **At the sight of this, the Panda Villain trembles and unconsciously takes a step back. **]

Panda Villain: …

[ **Red stares directly at the Panda Villain. This is a signal for him to come.** ]

Panda Villain: You…! You're funny, you…! _Pa pa pa~_

[ **Hitting a breaking point, the Panda Villain charges at Red!** ]

Panda Villain: YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY! _Pa la la la~_

[ **As the Panda Villain attempts dealing the finishing blow, Red counters him as if brushing aside an annoyance.** ]

Red: Clench your teeth, panda. My Gekota punch… just might shake you up a bit.

[ **And in a blow that would invert the Panda Villain's mask permanently, Red thrusted his fist into his face without restraint. ** ]

[ **And the echoing sound of silence announces the end of battle.** ]

_Soooo cooooooooooool…! That was way too damn cool…! Even if it was plagiarism, it's such a good scene…!_

_Of course it was._

[ **Scuffling noises are heard during the credit roll. Kamijou Touma and Index are seen exiting the theater. **]

Index: Touma, Touma! That last scene was sure amazing!

Touma: It sure was.

[ **After watching a movie within the movie, the two quickly picked up pace to get right on track. **]

_Thank god... It's already like halfway into the chapter!_

_Hamazura, could you please stop super yelling? I'm trying to enjoy the movie._

_Err, uh… I'll hold back then..._

Index: Ah? Touma! The second part of Gekota Rangers S is already out! Don't you want to watch that too?

Touma: You can largely ignore it. Hey Index! What can you tell me about towers?

Index: E-Eh…? Towers…? What about towers…?

Touma: When you think of Japan, you definitely think of towers, right?

Index: Not really…

[ **Kamijou raises a finger.** ]

Touma: Surely you've heard of T*kyo Tower before, right?

Index: I'm not sure why you're bringing this up all of sudden…

Touma: Here's some advice. If anyone offers you the chance to go to T*kyo Tower…

[ **Kamijou's expression changes to something resembling a surreal painting.** ]

Touma: _**Don't go.**_

Index: Eh…?

Touma: Well enough about towers. Let's talk about something more interesting.

Index: _You were the one who brought it up, Touma…! And I totally thought you were going to mention that huge thing over there…! Are you just going to ignore it…! It's a major plot point, isn't it…!_

Touma: That... thing? Huh...?

[ **Index points off into the distance.** ]

Index: That thing! That thing over there! That ridiculously tall building! The one that suddenly appeared out of nowhere!

Touma: …

[ **Kamijou stares blankly.** ]

Touma: Hey Index! Do you know what's even more interesting than towers?

Index: _Changing the subject…!_

Touma: Idols!

[ **Kamijou raises both his arms.** ]

Touma: Idols in concert! Idols on CDs! Idols on TV! On the internet! In games! Mousepads! Keychains! Hugging pillows! Right now, we're in the middle of an idol craze! This is the golden age of idols!

Index: Is it?

Touma: Have you been living under a rock? Of course it is!

[ **Kamijou's expression changes once more.** ]

Touma: _Or at least that's what J.C. St*ff is betting on…_

[ **His face reverts back to normal.** ]

Touma: Well, even if the budget for the next season of Railgun and Index is riding on this, we should just take it easy! Relax! We're on the silver screen now! _Ha ha ha ha!_

Index: Touma, I'm worried…

_We all are..._

?: _Ah… Ah… Mic check… Mic check…_

[ **The pair hear a voice in the distance. They spot a girl setting up a keyboard and microphone. **]

Index: Touma… That's… An idol, isn't it?

?: **Hello everyone! It's a good day to be outside, isn't it?**

[ **The scene changes to Misaka Mikoto, Saten Ruiko, and Uiharu Kazari sitting in a restaurant. **]

Mikoto: Internet… Idol?

Ruiko: Ah! Yeah! Internet Idol Arisa-chan~! She's gotten pretty famous lately! In just a short amount of time, she's been gaining a ton of fans due to her covers of Vocaloid and Touhou remixes! She's almost like a real idol!

Kazari: Saten-san, if you that impressed by real idols, there's one pretty close by.

Ruiko: In all her videos, she sings and dances! It's really all well put together with special effects!

Kazari: Saten-san, that idol I'm mentioning also sings and dances. And she does it because she's a real idol. Surely, you've heard of Sph*re, haven't you?

[ **Saten opens her laptop.** ]

Ruiko: Let me pull up one of her videos and show you! She's really amazing! It's like she was taken straight out of Idolm*ster!

Kazari: Saten-san, we're putting out a new single next month. And I myself just released a solo album recently too. Are you listening? Saten-san?

[ **Misaka Mikoto and Saten Ruiko scooted close to each other. A video starts playing on her laptop. **]

Computer: _L-L-L-Love and Joy kaete yuku~_

Mikoto: Whoa! Nostalgia bomb!

Ruiko: Oh, yeah. She also does things like that too.

Mikoto: But… I think I might have seen her face before. Wait! We've met before!

Ruiko: Wha-What! Really! How! When!

[ **Misaka Mikoto scratches the back of her head. **]

Mikoto: I, uh… You know what, I don't really remember. It… It wasn't really explained that well…

Kuroko: As expected.

[ **There's an audible sigh.** ]

Kuroko: Onee-sama has become popular even with Internet famous idols. At this rate, I might become just another fan...

Mikoto: Eh…! Kuroko…! How did you get here all of a sudden!

[ **Shirai Kuroko rolls up to the group in her wheelchair.** ]

Kuroko: I came through the doors. Obviously.

Ruiko: Is that so…

[ **Shirai takes a look around and notices Uiharu sulking by herself.** ]

Kuroko: Ah. It may be a bit late for me to say this, but… keep up the good work.

Kazari: _It's tough… It really is…_

* * *

**A/N**: And so an abrupt end to a chapter that hardly got anything done. This seems like a good place to stop. The next chapter should probably cover Arisa's introduction to the end of the first action sequence which roughly covers the first 20 minutes of the film.

You know, despite its problems, I actually liked the movie. It felt rushed, but it wasn't bad. That is to say, I've seen worse.


End file.
